One Liners

1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get
 married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception
 was excellent.
 
2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've
 lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The
 first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
 
3. A jump lead walks into a bar. The barman
 says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
 
4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
 
5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says,
 "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
 
6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
 
7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under
 his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the
 road."
 
8. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the
 other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
 
9. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass
 of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is
 it common?" Doc says, "It's Not Unusual."
 
10. Two cows standing next to each other in a field,
 Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated
 this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly.
 "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
 
11. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The
 kids were nothing to look at either.
 
13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other
 day but I couldn't find any.
 
13. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet
 him £50 that he couldn't reach the meat off the
 top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
 
14. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled
 a mussel.

15. What do you call a fish with no eyes?   A fsh.

16. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the
bar tender here?"
 
17.  The real meaning of abbreviation  DNA,